When the journey began

So i've decided to start this blog to chronicle my weight loss or lack there of depending on the week. I'm doing this for me so that I can look back and see how I struggled week to week, to see my success, and to just remember this journey.

I'm 30 years old and have struggled with my weight all my life. I have been a yo yo dieter for as long as I can remember. I've watched my weight go up, down, and back up again. I joined weight watchers during my freshman year of college and lost close to 70lbs. So I know it works. Yet even after making this major accomplishment, I put it all back on and then some.

I met the love of my life in 2009. Like all relationships, I became comfortable and put weight on. My wonderful boyfriend loves me for me and I know this. I decided just about 14 weeks ago that I was tired of being fat and I was ready to change that. So I joined weight watchers again. The weight loss has been extremely slow. But I keep telling myself that it didn't come on overnight and it's certainly not going to come off overnight. So after almost 14 weeks (14 weeks will be Saturday) I have lost 15lbs.

About 9 weeks ago I joined the gym and found something else that I have come to love..... Zumba. I have met some wonderful people and my instructors are awesome! I have continued to stay motivated to go to zumba at least 3 times a week and I sometimes go up to 5 times a week. Weight loss isn't easy. If you've never been here then you have no idea what it's like to struggle day to day.

My cousin wrote a blog about her daughter and how she didn't want her to grow up being known as the "fat kid." I too grew up with that label and have carried it with me as i've gotten older. So many people say you are so pretty or you're beautiful. That's nice and all but you know they're thinking you'd be prettier if you were thinner.

I have had low self esteem all my life. I have felt bad about myself all my life. I really want to change that and am slowly trying to work on my confidence. Mike makes me feel beautiful every day yet at the end of the day I look in the mirror and still hate what I see.

I am going to bed satisfied that I burned 1,384 calories at the gym this evening. I weigh in on Saturday morning and am hoping that the scale reflects all the hard work i've put in this week because it gets tough when you get on the scale and it's not the number you want. But for now, i'm proud of me for sticking with this and am determined to stick with it. If you've read this far, thank you. Until next time!